What’s so great about Colorado? There’s no beach. How can you love a place without a beach? How can you love Durango so much, I mean, is there even a mall there? Good restaurants? Isn’t it just some mountains, a river and a train? Is it the legal pot? (Snicker Giggle). Pot head! It IS the pot! Makes sense now.
No. It’s not the legal pot. Contrary to popular belief, legal pot is the least interesting thing about Colorado.
Have you ever heard how truly quiet, quiet can be? Have you ever felt perfect serenity? Serenity is a word that tastes how it sounds. Words do have flavors, some bitter and harsh and others melt on your tongue. Serenity melts. Have you ever walked along a dusty trail surrounded by pine trees stretching their long arms heavenward towards a cobalt blue sky? I have.
Where the only sound for miles is the nearby rush of a river and the wind rustling the fall leaves. Ahhh, the fall leaves… bright red, orange, gold and yellow. A literal explosion of color. I’ve walked across a path scattered with brilliant colored leaves and thrown my arms out, closed my eyes, turned my face up to the sun and spun in circles. Nobody around but me and my God. Happiness swelling inside me, I was sure I would burst. I bet I would’ve burst into a million autumn leaves. I’d become a part of the things I love so much. I like that idea.
Have you ever sat quietly on a rock, deep in the forest and watched a deer feed her fawn? I have. The mama deer alert and watching in every direction while her baby suckled without a care in the world. That fawn instinctively knew her mama would protect her. A small smile played on my lips and tears formed in my eyes and then I left them to share their moment.
Have you ever felt at peace? Peaceful. Inside and out…full of a certainty you were where you belong – a place that added light to your darkness and silenced your demons. I have.
I hope to feel Colorado again someday. Until then, I’ll just hope the girl I was when I was there is still inside me. I miss her, she was beautiful inside.
*Photography by Jody Wahl