Loosin’ It

FlashNano Day 9: Write a story in the form of a Letter to the Editor

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Dear Editor,

I must preface this letter by stating, I am not a Grammar Nazi. I am not one of those creatures who scours posts and articles for misspelled words or grammatical errors. Truth be told, I sort of loathe those people. I, myself, have used ‘effect’ when I should have used ‘affect’. I’ve even used ‘then’ in place of ‘than’ on ONE rare occasion.

So, you must be asking yourself what has drawn this woman out of the shadows and into the limelight of a “Letter to the Editor”. Well, let me tell you… over the past two days (Two days in a row!) your sports writer, and more egregious, your proofreader have done the unthinkable. A travesty of the highest grammatical order. An unforgivable crime against the English language!

What crime did they commit you ask. Hold on to your Editor’s hat, because it’s the Big Kahuna of my grammar pet peeves…

Are you ready? You may want to sit down… Hell, I may need to sit down!

Here goes…
A football team does not LOOSE a game. They LOSE a game! Her pants are LOOSE… Her lips are LOOSE! The football team did not LOOSE, they LOST! They are not LOOSERS they are LOSERS. LOSE-LOST.

For the love of all things holy and my precarious sanity you must drill this rule into your writer’s head. As for the proofreader, who missed it TWO times in TWO days, I must call for the guillotine! Once, perhaps can be excused with a slap across the puss with a 20lb. catfish. But, two times?! Guillotine can be the only adequate punishment.

I implore you to handle this problem with the utmost severity. If you don’t, I guarantee I will LOOSE my mind!

Sincerely,
Loosin’ It In LA

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About Jody

This blog, like this girl is an ever-changing work in progress. The second I think I know myself I go and change. I write - some good, some bad. But, I write... I am a writer.
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6 Responses to Loosin’ It

  1. Steven Baird says:

    Thank you… I’m not a grammar Nazi, either, but seriously? Great job! (“…slap across the puss with a 20lb. catfish.”… great line, I may need to use that. Full credit to you, of course. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Susan Navarro says:

    LOL! I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sassandsauce says:

    Haha.. this is hilarious.. twice in a row deserves the guillotine! hate to disclose it to you, but you are a grammar Nazi! 🐱

    Like

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