Happy New Year…Again? (Flash Fiction)


Cassie lurched awake. She was in a hotel room she didn’t recognize or remember checking in to. With a sense of panic, she rubbed her eyes and sat up. She immediately caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

“Oh….my….God!” She said with a raspy voice.

Her normally honey blonde, pin straight hair, was teased to the limits and platinum blonde. Dark roots an inch long framed the edges of her hairline.

“My hair…who did this?!”

Her eyes were smeared with too much eyeliner and mascara, applied with a heavier hand than she would ever use. Giving her the appearance of a surprised racoon. Lips painted in shocking pink.

“I would never, ever wear pink lipstick!” She said to her pink lipstick wearing reflection

She leaned forward in bed unable to pull her eyes from the horror in the mirror.

“What the fuck is going on? I look like a clown hooker!” She exclaimed to her garish reflection.

At that moment, she felt a strange sensation on her hands. She brought them up and saw a pair of black, lacy, fingerless gloves. Nails painted a shocking pink, to match her lipstick, one could only assume! Both of her wrists were encircled with what must have been at least 20 assorted bracelets.

She threw the blanket back and heard an odd rustling sound. She looked down, “What am I wearing?!”

She jumped out of bed and hurried to the mirror. She could do nothing but stare, mouth agape, when the whole outfit was revealed.

Black bustier with a pink mesh tank top hanging off her right shoulder. A long black leather cord hung around her neck with a large silver cross dangling over her stomache. Through the shock of overbleached, HUGE hair were two of the biggest hoop earrings she’d ever seen. A gymnast could swing on them, if so inclined! She pushed one side of her hair back and saw 5 ruby red stud piercings circling her earlobe. She pushed back the other side of her hair and saw only the one overly large hoop.

Cassie closed her eyes and vigorously rubbed them, in hopes of erasing this image before her.

Slowly opening her eyes, “Please, let this be a nightmare.”

No change! Except the black racoon eye makeup was even more smudged.

She lowered her eyes to take in the rest of her outfit. Black, torn and tattered capri leggings. A black lacy tulle tutu over the leggings. Fishnet ankle socks with tiny pink satin bows on each side. She glanced next to the bed where a large clunky pair of black Doc Martin combat boots lay as if hurriedly kicked off.

“I-I-I don’t understand…. how did I get here and why am I dressed like this?” She asked the heavens.

She looked around the room. Nothing was familiar. A bright red men’s leather jacket was tossed carelessly over the back of a chair. RED LEATHER JACKET?! An empty bottle of champagne was stuck bottom up in a silver ice bucket. Two champagne glasses sat next to it. Another pair of clunky black boots lay on the floor. They were obviously a man’s, as they were quite large.

For the first time she noticed the sound of the running shower.

“Think!” She said out loud. “Last night I went to a New Year’s Eve party with my boyfriend, Randy. I was not wearing this! I had on a simple black dress and black pumps. My hair was smooth and straight. Simple, lightly applied makeup. Randy was dressed in a charcoal gray suit, crisp white shirt and expensive silk tie. The countdown began 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3….2…1

Farewell 2014! Welcome 2015! Randy and I kissed… that’s it. I don’t remember anything else.”

At that moment the bathroom door swung open, “Hi beautiful! What a party huh? Duran Duran never sounded better!”

“Randy! Duran Duran?! Wha— where… wait… your hair?!” She stammered.

Running his hand quickly through his long, wet hair “What’s wrong with my hair?” He looked in the mirror and smiled approvingly.

She could only stare incredulously. Randy…last night’s Randy, had short, clean cut hair.

“I don’t understand…” She watched Randy, her Randy and yet not, slip on a pair of black tight pants…leather?! And a black sleeveless t-shirt. She could only stare. Speechless.

“Babe, check and see if they left the coffee and newspaper by the door. I called before I got in the shower.” This leather pants wearing Randy said. Chuckling he added, “We sure got lit last night, you didn’t even get out of your clothes before passing out!”

She absently walked to the door, still staring at Randy’s get up and hair. She opened the door and pulled in the cart with the large carafe of coffee and a newspaper.

“Oh good. Have some coffee, you’ll feel better. We had a lot to drink last night. I’m going to blowdry my hair.”

“Blowdry your hair?” She mumbled, shaking her head.

Randy leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Happy New Year, babe. Let’s make this a great year!” He headed for the bathroom.

She poured a cup of hot coffee and sat heavily on the bed. Beyond confused.

From the room next door she suddenly heard loud music blaring from a radio, 🎶🎶“huuuungry like the wolf…”🎶

She picked up the newspaper and her mouth dropped open, the cup of hot coffee she was holding crashed to the floor. She read the headline 3 times rapidly.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR 1984!!!”

She fainted.

The End

About Jody

Jody is a graphic designer, doodler, reader, lover of dogs and the Los Angeles Dodgers. She runs a popular print on demand site The Whimsy Doodle Shop and can usually be found doodling new design ideas on scraps of paper. Jody lives in LA with her husband and two rambunctious dachshunds.
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2 Responses to Happy New Year…Again? (Flash Fiction)

  1. hrh7 says:

    Hahaha. Too funny!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments welcome, unless they'll make me cry.

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