The Great Ditch Day Debacle


The Clock. Write about anything you’d like. Somewhere in your post, include the sentence, “I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock.”

When I read the prompt above at: The Daily Post – The Clock

it immediately took me to a vivid childhood memory. Let’s go there now, shall we?

Sssssh! (Whispering) We’re hiding under my bed. Squeeze in everyone, it’s the small, twin bed of my youth. The precious quilt laid lovingly across my bed was made by my grandmother. It wrapped me in warmth and love nightly. But, on this day it’s concealing me as I lay in wait. And boy did I wait. If you need to use the restroom I’d advise you to go now, because we’re going to be under this bed for a LONG time.

(Waits 2 minutes) Ok, get comfortable under here as I take you back to the beginning.

One day our hero, Little Jody, decided it was as good a time as any to start my life of crime. Now I needed to conjure up a crime. The only criteria was it had to be fun and nobody (namely me!) gets hurt.

So, with visions of a day full of TV and a heaping bowl of macaroni & cheese all to myself, I decided to ditch school. My plan was ingenious in its simplicity, I’d get ready for school like I did every day and I’d leave. Brilliant right?

“Byeeee! Everyone have a good day! I’ll have a good day, too…at school! This is me leaving for school! Yep, all day at school! Ok, LEAVING NOW! Going to school! See you way later after school!” I said inconspicuously as I left the house, slamming the door so everyone knew I was gone.

I was good, Meryl Streep would have given me a standing ovation.

I went down the street and ducked behind a large bush where I could watch my family leave. I giggled mischievously as they each left. My dad was lagging, but he finally left. If I had only noticed he wasn’t wearing his Navy uniform… if only.

He drove off and I gleefully ran back to my house and let myself in. “Woohoo! Success!” I danced around the house with reckless abandon! My house! Allllll mine! TV….ALLLLL MINE! Bright orange Kraft Mac n’ Cheese….ALLLLLL MINE!! Ditching school was the best idea in the history of all ideas!

I ran to my room to put on comfy “play clothes” because there was some serious playing in my future. As I pulled on a soft sweatshirt I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock it was around 9ish if memory serves me correctly (it probably doesn’t) I peeked out my bedroom window and….and…. AND….MY DAD WAS HOME! HE WASN’T IN HIS UNIFORM! HE WAS IN HIS PLAY CLOTHES, TOO!

He didn’t go to work. Maybe he decided to ditch, too. I don’t know, but I had NO time to ponder that question. I had to hide and fast he was walking up the path to the front door. AAACK!! I dove under my bed. Pulled the quilt down a bit to better conceal me, held my breath and waited. I heard the front door open and close. I could not breathe. My heart was beating out of my chest and I was sure my dad would hear it and come in my room to see who was playing the drums. He didn’t. He was eerily quiet. But, knowing my dad he was sitting at the dining room table smoking and perhaps reading. He made coffee, I could smell it. He was home and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Neither was I.

I was under my bed. Hiding. Thankfully, I didn’t have to go to the restroom…ahhhh man, why did I think that?!? Now I have to go to the restroom!

Well guys, get comfortable under here. Real comfortable. Because I hid under that bed for hours. I will never know how long, but in kid under the bed hiding and having to go pee time – it was like 10 hours.

I may have dozed off or slipped into a brief fear induced coma, but suddenly I heard the front door open. I heard my dad’s car door slam and he drove off. HE DROVE OFF! I crawled out from under the bed and darted to the restroom. I ran in the kitchen and grabbed a piece of white bread and went back to my room. I just knew my dad would be right back. I sat on my bed and ate that white bread. I stared out the window ready to bolt back under the bed. He didn’t return. At close to 3 o’clock I put my school clothes back on and ran out the front door. Ran down the block and then turned around to walk home. My dad pulled up as I got to the house.

“Have a good day, sweetie?” He asked as he put his arm around me and we walked to the front door.

“Umm, yep. It was ok.” I replied.

We went into the house together.

Prologue: Years and years later I finally got the nerve to tell my dad this story and he laughed until he cried and then laughed some more.

About Jody

Jody is a graphic designer, doodler, reader, lover of dogs and the Los Angeles Dodgers. She runs a popular print on demand site The Whimsy Doodle Shop and can usually be found doodling new design ideas on scraps of paper. Jody lives in LA with her husband and two rambunctious dachshunds.
This entry was posted in Humor, nostalgia and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Great Ditch Day Debacle

  1. I was guilty of this when I was a boy—probably because I was never a girl. I was around six. I left for school and missed the crossing guard. It was a very busy street, and so I decided I was not going to school that day—or back home for that matter. I feared I would be brutally murdered by my dad—although he was a loving man. So, I crouched down in front of a hedge in the front of our neighbors house. Soon a police officer, wearing his hat and sunglasses—don’t know why that part is so vivid— pulled across the street and parked. I got hungry, opened my lunch box, and began to eat my lunch. The officer and I smiled at each other, it seemed like hours passed. He would smile and wave some more during that time and I smiled and waved—incessantly! However, I apparently let my guard down at some point because, the picnic came to an end. Suddenly my dad came out onto the porch and called my name—which I pretended I didn’t know, to no avail. Eventually I came out from hiding and slowly walked that last mile to my dad—dead child walking. I remember looking back at the officer, traitor to my trust, who waved and smiled at me (or was it my dad), and watched him drive away. All I remember after that was; “How could he drive off at such a moment, knowing that a child was about to face emanate death at the hands of an enraged father? Fortunately, I survived the ordeal reasonably intact. Unfortunately, my behind suffered some mild abuse that day. Hey Jody I bet you—hey look, I used a -Y- I must be learning more letters in the alphabet—didn’t expect a novella in response to your post. I guess I didn’t want you to think this was just a cursory read, because I really got a kick out of your adventure, as I could relate to it. Well I better stop now, I hear crickets, suggesting I’ve been at your site all day. P.S. I’m glad you didn’t get caught… like I did.

    Liked by 1 person

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