Jody needs what?!

 

Jody Wahl, 
We’ve picked a few styles we think you’ll like based on your past purchases and preferences. Neon Fanny Pack.

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Maybe Amazon just knows I’m depressed and they’re trying to help. I mean, that’s sweet right? Who says corporations aren’t people? Do they not care about my well being? Amazon seems to care.

Because otherwise, I can’t fathom what in the fresh hell makes them think I need and/or want a fucking Neon Fanny Pack emblazoned with the word PARTY!

They’ve based my need of this ‘thing’ on my past orders?! What the hell did I ever order that made Amazon think I’d also want a friggin’ NEON ‘PARTY’ FANNY PACK?!

Maybe since I’m being a mopey hermit they believe the adage “fake it til you make it” would help me get out of my funk. A girl wearing a neon fanny pack with PARTY written on it, is surely looking for fun, right?!

What sort of party supplies does one carry in her Party Fanny Pack? Booze I’d assume. Maybe Skittles.

I like booze and Skittles and I wouldn’t mind y’know having them with me all the time. Maybe this recommendation isn’t so far off the mark afterall. Maybe a ‘Party’ emblazoned neon fanny pack is exactly what a chick in a blue funk needs.

Thanks Amazon, I guess.

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About Jody

This blog, like this girl is an ever-changing work in progress. The second I think I know myself I go and change. I write - some good, some bad. But, I write... I am a writer.
This entry was posted in Essay, Humor, musings, random, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Jody needs what?!

  1. Hahahah this cracked me up. Who the hell buys fanny packs nowadays in general? It’s odd they’d even recommend one. I wouldn’t mind carrying around booze and skittles with me, though. Mmm. They could improve anyone’s day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jody says:

      Right?! Now, I’m no fashionista, far from it, but a fanny pack?! Maybe they just need to clean out inventory for the end of the year and I’ve been known to buy odd shit late at night when I can’t sleep. This habit screams, fanny pack apparently. But, I would like a convenient Booze & Skittles holder…

      Like

  2. Steven Baird says:

    lol, I kinda suspected. Seriously, a small briefcase would suit you better for those essentials. SO much cooler, and more professional. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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