Colorado – A Reason for Everything

Flashnano is a challenge that involves writing 30 stories in 30 days throughout the month of November. A new writing prompt every day. Then just write. I’m not editing these until later, for now they’re just the raw piece of writing the prompt brings out. Maybe a short fictional story one day and random musings the next. I have had writer’s block for awhile now so these may be clunky and rusty. But, I’m writing and that’s good.

FLASHNANO 2018 – 30 Stories in 30 Days

FLASHNANO 1 – Write a story that begins at the end

It’s been over three years since I left Colorado. I still miss it the way one misses a cherished past love. Even now when I think of those bluer than blue skies, snow capped mountains and pine trees reaching to the heavens the tears well up in my eyes and blur my vision. My heart has healed, mostly, but I’m also completely aware of the loss. I feel the hole in my heart from the part of me I left on that mountain. It belongs to Colorado now. But, I belong here. I’m needed here and even though I didn’t understand why Colorado and I had to part I get it now.

What’s the cliché quote, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all… that’s Colorado and me. That’ll always be us. I’ll always have our memories.

The truck was packed to the gills. There was not an inch of unused space. It was like an elaborate game of Jenga. Now I’m standing in front of the truck with my back turned to the house. I can’t look at it. I feel guilty, I promised it we’d be together forever. I meant it when I said it.

The cornflower blue sky and resplendent pine trees that cover the property don’t have a care in the world. They were here long before me and they’ll continue long after. As I look at them I feel the tears come. They well up slowly at first. In the distance I can hear the river rushing about its business. I begin to tremble slightly. Then across the meadow where I spent hours meditating, drawing, writing or just sitting I see a deer and two spindly legged fawn. The tears finally come. I sob from deep inside my soul. It hit me then that I’ll never walk these dirt roads around our house again. I’ll never giggle and clap my hands in girlish delight when I come across a new patch of wildflowers. Wildflowers are my favorite flower, there’s such beauty in their chaos.

As we drive away I feel the moment a piece of my heart is ripped out and left behind. I finally look at my beautiful house. It’s empty now, but as beautiful as the day we met. I was so happy there. We had such good times. As we drive away I take one last look, through my tears I say, “Goodbye… I’m sorry I couldn’t stay“.

That day I didn’t understand why I had to leave a place I loved so much and brought me such peace. But, the answer came later when my mom shared three fateful words, “I have cancer.” At that moment I understood why I had to leave my beloved Colorado. Someone more important needs me now and I’m here. 

Life can be like a wildflower, you just have to find the beauty in the chaos.