Early this morning I head on over to Google to ask it a question about downloading something (none of your business what I wanna download, but it ain’t porn…f’reals!) Anyway, I typed, “Can I da…” typo meant “do…” immediately, as Google is want to do, it finished my sentence. Can I date my cousin is the number 1 most asked question and can I date a minor is the 2nd. This cracked me up… But, y’know at least they checked with Google first. Can I daisy chain monitors was number 3. I have no fucking idea what that means, but I’m assuming it’s filthy.
Since this amused me so much, I decided to just start typing random shit into Google (Don’t judge me! I’m the only person awake right now!) So, I typed are babies… and I was not disappointed:
1. Are babies born with freckles
2. Are babies born with kneecaps
and lastly a whole bunch of people are wondering:
3. Are babies parasites
I don’t have kids, so I don’t know about 1 or 2, although when I think about it, I’ve never seen a baby with freckles or kneecaps, sooo maybe not such strange queries. Number 3 is funny, but technically since babies feed off a host, they could be considered parasites. But, it’s never ok to call someone’s baby a parasite. So don’t.
I’m still amused, so I continue on Googling. If anyone is still reading this, I’m gonna assume you’re one of those ‘finish what you start’ kinda folks. I’m sorry, this will be my last one, so let’s move along, shall we? I asked, Is it disgusting… I wanna know what people do, but secretly wonder if they are disgusting freaks for doing it. And lo and behold! I’ve never, ever said “lo and behold” out loud before, I’m going to work it into conversation today… anyway LO AND BEHOLD, is it disgusting to:
1. Marry your cousin! Full circle people! All roads lead to banging relatives. Everyone may not be doing it, but alot of y’all want to! I, personally, don’t want to. But, that’s just me, no judgment here… ok, a tiny bit of judgment.
2. Eat insects. Yes, it is disgusting. But, if you are hiking with a friend, and you get lost for days, eating bugs is ok. Better to eat bugs, than your friend (you can quote me on this!). If you eat your friend, you’ll be found 5 minutes later and have to live with that shit. Eating bugs to survive is kinda badass.
3. To swallow. Umm no comment ‘cept do what ya need to do.
So, in conclusion… ummm how do I end this random mess… let’s see…ok, I’ve got it! Since everyone wants to know how far they can go with their cousins, I will tell you my opinion. The world is full of amazing people, millions and millions of them, I think you should look for one you aren’t related to. If you date a relative, and it doesn’t work out, holiday’s are going to be even more awwwwkward. Plus, you’ll be a Cousin Banger and everyone will know it. So, my advice…don’t do it.
Ok, I’m done here, “Good day, sir!”